Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Okay, Okay....



Its just so hard to find time to post. I dont even know where to start. I guess I will just go over the big things.



First and foremost...



Nathans Grandmother passed away at the end of April. I don't really know where to begin with this post. How do you sum up a loved ones life. How do you thank her for who she was and the difference she made? How do you put into words the emotions you feel? Nathans Grandma raised Nathan from the time he was a toddler. So, this loss is deep. However, We know that we will see her again. Dealing this is all so new for me. I have never lost a loved one that I was close to and I did truely love her. I think the hardest part of her passing is that Nathans Grandpa is literally having a breakdown without her around. I wish there was some comfort to give him but we dont have the same religion so how do I convince him that this is not the end.. its only the beginning and then plant a seed of faith that he can live with her through eternity? He once told me that he only has faith in one thing and that is himself. Well, I hope that through all of his suffering he is able to find comfort in knowing that we are all here for him and we need him.

A few years ago I created a professionally bound book for Nancy. It took me about 18 months but I collected several stories and pictures from friends and family and what they all had to say about her. I gave it to her for her 76th birthday and she wrote me the most beautiful card expressing to me that it was her favorite gift that she has ever gotton. It made me cry. In making the book I got to know her even better than I had before . I loved reading her story. I loved knowing about her hardtimes and her good times. About a child she lost in infancy about several marriages and finally finding the love of her life. I love knowing about her rollerskating escapades with Nathan and seeing pictures of her with her small children. What an amazing bond all mothers have! What Nancy didn't realize is that the book that I gave her was really just a glimpse of the gift of memories that she gave all of us.




Next...
Just recently, like yesterday, Nathan decided to quit his job at the hospital. He wants to get a Masters degree in Hospital Admin. but there are no programs for it in Utah. We are looking at Tennessee. Who knows what will come of all of this. We both feel really good about him quitting knowing that he can't get any higher in Healthcare Management if he doesnt have a Masters.

Actually, We have been tossing this decision around for several months. He was scheduled to take the GRE for admission to the program in Tenn the same weekend that his Grandmothers Funeral Mass was. So everything is delayed but still in full force. We will see what kind of a score he gets on the GRE. UNLV has a program that is our second choice if Tenn. falls through.

So,... hopefully at the end of July we will know what our future holds.



Lastly, Marcus turns one next week and I can't believe it! I love this little guy. He is such a pleasant baby. They grow up way too fast!

5 comments:

Alissa said...

heidi cute blog! your family is adorable! call me kaiya wants to play with elise

Mathie Fam said...

This is such a sweet post. I was wondering what the deal was with masters programs. I am sure that it will all work out for you. --I can't believe Markmus is going to be one already. Is he walking yet?

Amber said...

Wow, I have been wondering what you have been up to. Sorry to hear about Nate's Grandma. And Tennessee! Wow that would be an adventure. Sounds like you have some exciting changes coming right up. We missed you today at the Gardens. Jen wants to go next Tues., we would love it if you would come! Thanks for the update!
Love ya HO!

amanda said...

Heidi, I'm sure you don't remember me since I only met you in passing (in a parking lot) in Provo nearly 8 years ago. But anyway, I knew Nathan from church in Ca. I've been reconnecting with some friends from Ca (I found out that one has since joined the church), so it made me curious as to your family's whereabouts. I hope you don't mind me checking out your blog, but it's great to see that you guys are doing well. Your family is beautiful and the family man image seems to suit Nathan very well. Tell him hello for me & best wishes with all your future endeavors. Take Care

Amanda Bayless (Batt)

wrongfromheadtotoe said...

nates grandma sounds like a terrific lady. i am sorry for both of your losses and especially his grandpa.
glad i finally got your blog.
love ya!