What has happened?
The last 18 hours my family has grown a mile. And its growing pains that make me cry. Last night Marcus climbed on the potty himself and with a little help from me and big sis Vanessa he went ...you know... #2. Then I went to put him to bed and he insisted on sleeping with Luke in a big boy bed... and he did all night. This makes me sad because it means we have no use for a crib... and never will until I have grandkids... probably. Four is a good number. Especially when your talking about kids. But, I must tell you I cried last night because I don't have any little babies. Its been a long time coming and I thought I would love it but... Im sad. I know my limits. I 99% sure were done. Im am 100% sure I done being pregnant.

and if that werent enough....

Ellie is growing in the head... if you know what I mean. This is a daily...

E:Can Shelbie come home from school with me?
H: No, Ariana came home with you yesterday and you have soccer practice this evening
E: Please, Please, Please, mom.... high pitched loud begging... (I'm thinking "girl just chill a little")
H: No Ellie, I want time with you tonight. Let's not do any more school friends until next week.
E: Please Please Please... Shelbie can go to soccer practice with me.
H: NO ELLIE... I said No and I mean it. If you ask me aagin you will end up in your room.
E: Please, Mom.... now in a sweet, nice, pleasant voice.
H: Elise, go to your room...
E: Cry.. bawl... cry a little more... be really mad and post this sign... out side her room door.

So this was the conversation last night before bed and then again this morning but about wearing her grey capris and I wanted her to wear leggings and her brown skirt. Seriously the same thing over and over... The only difference is that she didnt have time to write a note and put it on her door. She just pounded the piano keys really hard while practicing to let everyone know she was UPSET. Then she left the house for school ... crying...

Again,.. growing pains... I cried a little... where is my sweet little girl?... I know she is in there. I think we need to take a trip to St. George together. Just me and her.

Blue and Brown...... eyes to die for....kids to die for.

wink and snap

I put them in the shower after they had got into my stamps and decided that they would tattoo their little bodies up and down with a Thanksgiving Indian maiden. They lasted only a few minutes in the shower because I found them here....

So long beautiful, homemade loaf of bread.



luke

wink left
then right
little charmer
little boy

i dont even care!
no ,no, no
time alone boy
reading books boy

gorgeous day mom
dump truck play
you happy mom?
I happy boy
silly boy

eyes are closing
sleep is coming
hush boy hush
kiss once hug twice
sleep boy, sleep

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
vanessa

tricky chicky
little snap
snap one
snap two
snap here and back

snap walking
talking
funny little fingers
snap!

get the mail
big arms full
wonderous little girly
snap!

happy girl
big eyefull
In my face, snap
running past

hush girl, hush
covers tight
sleep girl sleep
kiss left, hug right
little snappers hush...

It's the dead of winter and like last year I am more than ever motivated to get out of the snow. I am going compltely stir crazy home all day with 3 little kids. I am seriously trying to talk Nate into moving somewhere sunnier.... like St. George. Who knows, we might have to if things with Sweet Pea keep going good so I can be closer to my partner.

The other day I took the kids out and as trashy as it sounds I took them to McDonald's so that they could be entertained without me following them around trying to keep things clean. All winter we have been going to the Dinosaur museum and they protested me when I mentioned it. I thought it would be an easy place to take them all by myself. HA! thats a JOKE! Everything was fine until Vinney had to go to the bathroom. I couldn't leave Luke and Marcus in the play area all by themselves so I had to wait until they got down from the slides. About 5 minutes later we paraded into the bathroom. Sweet Vanessa went to go potty and before she got her pants down, she peed. She must have been holding it along time because it was a huge puddle all over the floor. I went to grab some paper towells to clean it up and thats when I found out that McDonalds only has blowers . So I took a deep breath and unrolled a toilet paper roll and started to clean it up. Well, that was when Vanessa got out of the stall( Naked...cause you know that 3 year olds think they have to totally undress to go potty) and was visiting each stall trying to find Luke who had decided that he needed to go potty too. Once she found him I hear this swish swish sound and I take a break from cleaning up the pee and where's Marcus but in another stall playing with the toliet water. I freak out and wash him with soap and tell him to stay with me... yea right! So Luke and Vinney are in the stall and Luke yells out "mom wipe me!". I call back " hold on a second honey, I have to clean up a mess". They must have not heard me because Both Luke and Vanessa left the stall ( now both naked) to find me and tell me that Luke needs to be wiped.
I paused for a second and seriously was gonna break down and cry. I had left the diaper bag in the play area and couldnt get there with having to take the 3 kids and I couldnt do that because Vanessa was naked and had no pants to wear. I had to become resourceful . After I wiped Luke I told him that we needed to take his sweater and his underware because Vanessa had to borrow it. He was a great sport. He said "okay mommy". I put his underware on Vanessa and used his sweater like a skirt for Vanessa, putting her through the neck hole and tying the sleaves together. Then I got them dressed and told them to hold hands and lean aginst the wall and we sang songs while I finished sopping up the pee with Mcdonalds incredibley thin toilet paper.
You know that song by Natalie Merchant called "these are the days"? Well I have to remind myself that I am going to miss these times someday. I have a hard time believing this and I always tell myself "laugh don't cry" and it seems to help me through. Sometimes I look at people my age that have only one or two kids... evenly spaced about 2-3 years apart, and I just think " You have no idea how good you have it" and I am a little jealous. I figure if I can just get through the next 3 years I will only have Marcus home. And when all the other kids at school I can sit at Mcdonalds with one kid and think back to the time when there was a beautiful disaster in the bathroom.... and laugh.

So here is some pictures from the last few weeks. My good camera broke when Luke threw it so don't mind the B quality
.