A beautiful disaster

Whoa!

Life Slow down!

Okay... I have all these pictures that I have tried to load several times and Blogger won't "process my request" so until I get blogger to notice me... there will be no pictures!

Elise had Piano Festival. She performed two duets with Cayden Frost. They did really well. In the festival the pianist are judged and they got 36/40... which is really good!Grandma Vicky came with us and Nate got to stay home with sick kids... he wasnt feeling too well either. Elise turned 8 this past week. WHOA!!!!Double WHOA! 8 years!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
She had a pink pirate party and invited 25 friends. It was a complete blast. All the girls came dressed as pink pirates and Elise had the time of her life. She gets baptized this month and can't wait for this special day. the wierd thing is that I remember when I was 8. I wonder what things she will remember when she looks back to this time in her life. I kept a journal when I was 8 and I cant wait to let her read it. WHOA!!! What a thought. What they tell you about writing a journal does come true. I guess it really is for the future generations.. maybe I will have to read through it first to make sure I come out looking good... if you know what I mean.

Marcus had his surgery... finally! I think you pronounce it homospeadus? I dont know... I DO know that it involves boy parts a scalpel, a cathader for 10 days, lots of Lortab, and a grumpy baby boy. But.. when this is all over Marcus will be a strait shooter... not a side shooter anymore! Speaking of Marcus he has started talking up a storm. He says Heidi perfect;ly and it is so fun to hear him say it. I always tell him.."say heidi" and he does. I could listen to his little voice ALL DAY. He also will sing for you. All you have to do is say sing a song Marcus and he belts one out. Only one time was it recoginzable... it was the Barney song... I love you , You love me.

My new calling is Ward Activities committee chair.. well actually.. I am the whole committee too. But, for The Christmas party I have added a few to my committe to help out. There is so much work that goes into planning something like this. WHOA WEE!

Peter Pan, King, Doggie, Baby, Heavy Equiptment operater... you take your pick.. Luke is the jack of all trades. When he is not in full costume in a different world with Vanessa, he is watching Mater and the Ghost Light. He is obsessed.. You know that mini movie on the CARS dvd? Well, I think he has watched it over 100 times in the last week. Yesterday he was hiding from me, tucked in a corner of my room under a pillow with a 7 inch DVD player watching Mater... again! He is into this hiding thing lately too. Last night we had Chili and Cornbread for dinner. He had already eaten one piece of corn bread and I told him no more until he eats a little chili. Next thing I know he is scrunched under the bar, doubled over shoving a piece of cornbread in his mouth.... checking behind him like he is incognito or something. "Dont see me"... is the family joke when a little one acts like this. As soon as Luke gives me those eyes and says "I wub you mommy" Its all over... I'm a gonner.

Snow White, Doggie, Mommy, Princess, ballerina, Make up artist, or Vanessa. So cute lately. My favorite things hse does is MAKING the boys play make believe with her. she will run around saying PEETAH, PEETAH( Peter-just like they do in the Walt Disney version, accent and all) Chasing luke and Luke will crash to the ground and she will give him a big kiss and suddenly he wakes up. and they do it over and over and over and over and over again. Okay so this game is a cross between Snow White and Peter Pan. Its too cute. I really need to get it on video. She is also obsessed about having a leotard under with EVERYTING! The funny thing is to hear her say yeoturd. It still takes Nate a couple of times before he gets what she is saying.The threes are awesome with twins! Everytime I turn around they are saying something that makes me crack up! The years leading up to this point have all been worth it.. i honestly never thought I would say that. But for any of you that have twins... its gets so much easier and funner.

For thanksgiving we went to Las Vegas to see Nate's family. Mostly to spend time with Nate's Grandpa who is dealing with the first holidays since Grandma Angel Baby passed away. We had lots of fun and he was in great spirits right up until we went to leave. he started to cry. I feel so bad for him but later in talking with Patti she made me realize that Crying is theraputic and that he needed to cry to deal with his loss. its so hard to see someone you love hurt and have to walk away form them. I will say the anti depressants that he has been on has made him a lot more mellow. It was a relief to have him sit back and actually enjoy the beautiful disaster we bring the moment we set foot in the door.
It was fun to see all of the fam there in Las Vegas. We even were able to sneak in a lunch at Micky Dees with Rachel and my cute nieces and nephews. Rae even got Shaunie out of school to see us! Thanks Rae! We had a blast!

Today I was thinking in church how much I have changed the last few years. I can feel myself morphing and its sort of a numb feeling. My connections with friends are different and its sorta sad. In a lot of ways I miss the days where I was so free but ask me if I would ever change anything.. absolutely not. The ultimate gift one can give is oneself. This thing called motherhood is so hard and pushes you to become so selfless. Weather you are ready for it or not. The better mom I am to my kids the more I look at myself and ask... Heidi are you in there... is this really you driving a minivan, putting the ever annoying Christmas blowups on my front lawn, coveting my neighbors designer Christmas tree, and wanting to sip hot chocolate at night (I swear I am being tricked into becoming my mother)... all in the name children. Although amongst all the chaos there is peace. Knowing that when you lose yourself you actually find yourself... I guess that's what this thing called motherhood is about... finding the greater gift.

Heidi